little man syndrome

Momentarily browsed the online news this morning and spotted something that nearly made me lose my breakfast:

"PM hints he is staying put"

...can you think of a scarier thought than another 3 or 4 more years with this simian overlord dreaming up of new ways to tell porkie pies and bleed us dry? its been said that nations, for better or worse, elect the leaders they deserve. if that's the case then australians must be really gagging for some punishment? well i for one am sick of this lying piece of toe cheese - and if i had it my way he would crawl back into the cave he came from and leave us alone....today!

Speaking of little men, news of this week's birth of the spawn of tom cruise has heralded the arrival of a new era, the so-called age of preparedness (...or something). Over the next couple of years an army of his offspring (rumours of artificial insemination notwithstanding) will be groomed as the army that's going to duke it out with the overlord with the weird nose accessory (as portrayed by john travolta in 'battlefield earth'). will they succeed? will they save earth? don't ask me, i didn't watch the movie...

verbosity: (n) expressive style that uses excessive words

this morning's rrr radio show really struck a chord with me on the issue of excessive use of frilly words. Example: why do people use the word "paradigm" when they mean "example" or "standard"? what's up with that?? and what's with people's habit dropping the m-bomb ("milestones") like their lives depended on it? can't they just say "event" or "thing" or even "stuff that happens"?! maybe i'm just some illiterate hick who strangely enough can now see the wisdom in pauline hanson's pleas to "please explain?" the late but great mitch hedberg took a (maybe unintentional?) potshot at the thesaurus-guzzling set when he uttered his joke about his heavy use of word "totally":

"I totally use the word "totally" too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning: 'Hey Mitch do you like submarine sandwiches?' 'Oh! all-encompassingly!'"

...and no doubt the caller on the radio also had good intentions when he confessed to calling someone an "octagenarian" instead of an "old c---"! while the use of crude expletives (aw hell...i mean cuss words!) is uncalled for, it does raise the point again that verbosity is not the virtue that everyone thinks it is...'nuff said!!!

Phew! Only 28% Abnormal

You Are 28% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Bender: tips for better living

"Bite my shiny metal ass!"

"Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker."

"I can't keep running people over. I'm not famous enough to get away with it."

"Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious."

"I'm so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.

"C'mon, it's just like making love! Y'know...Left, down...Rotate 62 degrees...Engage rotor..."

"Okay kids, it's nine o'clock, you know what that means... daddy's sick of looking at you, so go to bed."

"My life, and by extension everyone else's, is meaningless."

(After his brain is removed) "I am Bender. Please insert girder."
(Immediately upon having his brain loaded back into his head) "I'm Bender, baby, please insert liquor!"

thirtysomethingness

its me birfday today...whoopdedoo!!! nah, its been really nice. we had cake today which was really nice of everyone involved. one of the essentials to a good working environment imho is a policy of cake everytime its someone's b'day - this is especially important in a large group/organisation where it becomes practically a cake a day!!

anyway the only really annoying thing about today is that its one of those muggy, stifling days where it rains, shines and storms in rapid succession all day and the aircon at work isn't working - but in the grand scheme of things its not a critical problem that threatens my very survival is it? ...lucky that i've got clean running water, then i really would've gotten mad!!!!

Beware the kk(krap)

read in the paper this morn about plans to bring in krispy kreme to melbourne this year... i for one condemn this move and would advise everyone to avoid this scourge...not to get all soapboxy about it but if there's one thing we don't need is another american multinational sponging off our sugar dependency! and to be quite honest the donuts aren't even that great - just deathdefyingly, tooth-achingly & enamel-erodingly sweet. where they get you is with the free sample donut they give you while you're waiting in line to order. i know what you're thinking: "hah! i'm eating my freebie donut and hightailing it out of there with nary a dent in my hip pocket!" WRONG MY FRIEND! what happens is this cynically Pavlovian marketing ploy is designed to sensitise your salivary glands such that you are compelled to have more, more, MORE - next thing you know you're out the door with dozen boxes of assorted donuts wondering when the lapse of decency occurred!!! don't believe me? ask yourself what prompts sensible humans coming from sydney to inflate their carry-on luggage quota with boxes of the stuff just cause sydney is "blessed" with a KK outlet at the airport? when i lived in calgary a few years ago a KK opened one weekend with much fanfare (nevermind that calgary like most canadian cities has a tim hortons on nearly every corner), complete with long lines, traffic jams, fisticuffs and even a silly old fool who came down from edmonton to camp outside the store a week in advance from its grand opening. KK is anticipated to grace our fair city sometime in june this year and is rumoured to be plonked down somewhere in outer suburbia....i now hold grave concerns for the orthodontic and metabolic future of my fellow citizens of melbourne if this corporate sugarlord is allowed to infect our populace with this corn syrup ensmothered scourge...don't say i didn't warn you!!!

Ahoy there!

catching up with the cybertimes and have decided its was hell and high time that i got around to inflicting my inflammatory views and thoughts onto the wider community...*mwaahahaha!* see the freaky collared cat there? that's just an example of the eye-popping, ear-curling reaction i'm going to aim for with this blog...*mwaahahaha!*

no not really, its just going to be an ordinary (most-likely boring?) blog about my daily doings and counting through the excruciating minutiae of what goes on in my world...enjoy!