An amazing race

My dream itinerary of a trip around the world would ideally go like this:

1. Melbourne to Dunedin: Haven’t yet made the trek out to NZ and when I do I will go the predictable option and go to Queenstown to get my fix of alpine related activities and the extreme way of life by our neighbours across the Tasman sea…. I’m talking Shortland Street DVDs.

2. Dunedin to Santiago: Chile is a geographically perplexing country extending through many degrees of latitude from the arid landscape of the Atacama desert (driest place on earth) to the southern tip off the straits of Magellan, a wee 950 km from the Antarctic circle. Watching the Motorcycle Diaries confirmed in my mind that the Chilean Andes and Chile is one place I must see at some point in my life. It’s got mountains, it has great wines, it has an unfortunate episode of cannibalism in its history, alpacas, and… maybe a Gael Garcia Bernal lookalike answering to the name of Che? Plus it shares the delightfully named Tierra del Fuego with Argentina, and really, how nice is it of Chile to do that?

3. Santiago to New York: One day I will make it to NYC and try to traverse the five boroughs as espoused by the Beastie Boys (Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Staten Is.). You can’t really pass up going to a city that’s inspired so many books, songs, sitcoms, video clips and it has to be a must for anyone wanting to experience American culture - as seen on TV. So many pop culture references: Catcher in the Rye, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Sinatra, The Godfather, Seinfeld, The Ramones, Batman, Home Alone and of course Diff’rent Strokes.

4. New York to Glasgow: As much as I love the Glaswegian accent I hope I can find (and understand) someone who can tell me where to find that famous lake of legend that inspired countless episodes of ‘In search of…’ and adorned just as many covers of ‘The Fortean Times’ . I’m talking Loch Ness. Not sure if I will encounter the eponymous monster Nessie. If not, there will always be the tacky Loch Ness souvenirs to serve as happy reminders of my travels. Loch Ness Monster snowglobe? Dartboard? Tea towels? Commemorative plates featuring an etched portrait of the monster in profile perhaps?

5. Glasgow to Copenhagen: From a legend to a fairy tale, and no, I’m not talking about Princess Mary of fricking Tasmania. I’m talking Hans Christian Andersen. Although it saddened me somewhat to hear she was being targeted by vandals, I’ve always wanted to go and see the Little Mermaid statue that was created in honour of HCA’s legacy to Danish culture and fame. I’ve heard also that Copenhagen is one of the flattest (and therefore easiest) cities to cycle around in Europe.

6. Copenhagen to Sapporo: If I were to go to Japan, I think I would prefer to go to the northern island of Hokkaido and experience some serious mountain life. The mountain resorts on Hokkaido are said to be the best in the world for powder. I don’t profess to be an expert on alpine-type activities or even on knowing how to stay upright on a board long enough, so the virtues of powder are probably wasted on me. Still, spending a week skiing on one of the island's resorts would probably be the best way to wrap up my imaginary sojourn around the world. Most importantly it would help make for a nice, all-tuckered out state to help me sleep well on the flight back home to Melbourne.